Five Books I Would Love to Eat!

If digesting large amounts of paper was possible, or if paper had a good taste and was worthwhile to ingest, I would definitely create a list of books that I would want to eat!

If I were to pick up a book and eat it right now, it would definitely be Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer. Why you may ask? The hype and the fans this book has created drives me crazy! Besides, it does not even have a great story line. Vampires would never fall in love - all they care about is to suck blood and to kill people! Though it is kind of hypocritical of me to eat this book - I like the Harry Potter series and I like the hype and popularity that surrounds them - I do not care one bit. Twilight needs to be eaten and Twilight fans need to calm down!

The second piece of literature on my list that I would love to devour, would be Inherit the Wind. I genuinely loved reading this book, loved the plot, learned a lot about both religion and evolution and I think this book would be one delicious meal! Now, if you did not know already, I am an atheist and a devoted one at that! So I would not only eat this book because I loved the plot and scenario, but because I could also digest and know all the smart quotes said by Henry Drummond (the defender of Bert Cates who wanted to teach his class the theory of evolution), and use them for myself when I saw myself in one of the many religious debates between me and my brother!

Another book I would definitely eat, would be Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Oh, it would be a very delicious book! Compared to some people, I may not be a Harry Potter fanatic, but I am still a huge fan of the Harry Potter series by J.K Rowling. To be honest, I would eat all seven of the Harry Potter books if I could! But if I had to choose one it would definitely be my favourite, the Order of the Phoenix, a book that I have read over and over for a countless number of times! Eating it would allow me to enjoy the book whenever I wished and would save me a lot of time (the Order of the Phoenix has over 500 pages!). For no other purpose than to enjoy the book whenever I wanted to, I would eat Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in a heartbeat!!

Fourth on my list of books to eat would definitely be 100 Years of Glory, one of many complete biographies of the Montreal Canadiens! I own several books about the Montreal Canadiens (the best hockey team in the world!), but my favourite one by far is 100 Years of Glory. It is a great book created to commemorate the team's 100th anniversary and relate the story of every event and every legendary player of the team's long (kind of like this sentence) and glorious history. First and foremost, I am a ginormous fan (and ginormous still does not do justice in describing how big of a fan I am) of the Montreal Canadiens, so it would logical for me to eat this book. Secondly, though my knowledge of the Canadiens is fairly extensive already, eating this book would allow me to know almost every single thing about the team! If someone came up to me and asked, 'how many goals did Jean Beliveau score in the 1958-59 season?', I would know the answer right away! Besides, any Montreal Canadiens book would taste awesome, right? Mmmmmm!!!

Lastly, the Canadian Law Book that can be found in room 218 at Orchard Park, would polish up an already delicious list of books I would love to eat! Eating this book would allow me to know all of Canadian laws so I could follow them, and so I could find loopholes in the law much more easy! Sure, call me a dilinquent or a rebel, but knowing all of Canadian laws inside and out could prove to be very beneficial! Whether in a tricky situation where knowing a law that the general public may not know, finding loopholes to sue companies (cha-ching!) or just to make sure I follow the law, eating the Canadian Law Book would be very beneficial! It would kind of be like vegetables I suppose...very beneficial, but it sure wouldn't taste very great!