5 Levels of Reading

Hey again, it's Krazy Kreshmir talkin'. That's right, I spelled crazy with a 'k' again and there is nothing you can do about it!

It is time for my readers to learn more about certain books and movies I love! You may or may not know that there are five levels of reading. I must choose my favourite movie or book that fits under each category. As I begin writing, you will see what I am talking about and what movie/book I have chosen.

To start off, 100 Years of Glory by D'Arci Jenish (refer to my other post), is definitely my favourite literal, non-fiction book. As I mentioned in one of my other blogs, I am an enormous Montreal Canadiens fan, and 100 Years of Glory is a complete biography of important players and events in the Montreal Canadiens 100 year history. Enough said!

If we speak in terms of emotional meaning, The Terminal, starring Tom Hanks, is a movie that instantly got me connected to the main character (Viktor Navorski). Viktor finds himself unable to leave New York airport because of war in his home country, Krakozhia, which makes his passport faulty. Though it is a hilarious movie, it is a sweet comedy. When Viktor finds out his country has been invaded, he cries, and I feel as if his pain is mine as well. The purpose of his journey to New Y0rk was to complete a collection for his deceased father, and in his travels, I am genuinely attached to Viktor and feel emotional with him. The Terminal has it all: laughter, love and tradgedy, and it is my favourite emotional movie.

A new movie that I recently went to the theatre to see, was Avatar. The reviews of Avatar were so amazing, I just had to see it. I know now why there was so much hype surrounding the movie! From the opening scene on the planet Pandora, I was mesmerized! One reason why I loved Avatar so much, was because of it's fabulous lessons (or morals). I believe every viewer can take at least one lesson from the movie. Living with our natural world, appreciating our nature's beauty and living in peace with people of other races, backgrounds and cultures, are lessons that I took to heart. Again, a spectacular movie, Avatar is my favourite film that contains a good lesson/moral.

Every good book should contain some sort of symbolism. This is the case in my favourite symbolic book, To Kill a Mockingbird. Used to represent innocence and used in showing prejudice and discrimination, the mockingbird is, of course, a dominant symbol in this classic. Take my word for it - To Kill a Mockingbird is a great read with plenty of symbolism!

Another particular favourite movie of mine, is another comedy - Spaceballs. Part of the reason why this movie is so funny is because it is loaded with exaggeration (hyperbolic) - another level of meaning. Lines such as "comb the desert" - where the characters go on to literally comb the desert with big hairbrushes - make Spaceballs a great movie. Definitely my favourite film that contains plenty of exaggeration is Spaceballs. If you have not already seen it, Krazy Kreshmir recommends you do!

In case you did not read between the lines and still do not know the five levels of reading, they are literal, emotional, moral, symbolic and hyperbolic. 100 Years of Glory, The Terminal, Avatar, To Kill a Mockingbird and Spaceballs are some of my favourite movies and books that contain at least one of the five levels of reading.

Please Do not Cell Me!

Life is pretty interesting, even if it is pretty short. You would never believe all the conversations I have listened in on, the secrets I have heard or the millions of messages I have sent around the world! Whether it’s Alisson from Canada or Aleksandr from Russia, you can bet I’ve heard most of them converse.
Unfortunately, a nasty trend has started occurring in the past decade or so. If a person laid hands on me 10 years ago, I would be their friend for a long time to come. Nowadays, people throw us cell phones in the garbage after a year or so and buy a new, less-reliable, un-trustworthy phone! Humans keep replacing us and it just isn’t fair!

I also get sick quite often because people just can not keep their hands off of me! I take this as a compliment, but absorbing all those germs it still not a fun experience.
Despite our increasingly shorter life spans and the deathly diseases I pick up, life goes on. I am an optimist and take the most out of life. All those words passing through me remain interesting!

The Encounter

I opened up a cupboard in my clean, white, old-fashioned kitchen and grabbed a plastic Ziplock bag. I proceeded on to raid the rest of the cupboards. I shoved all the cookies, candy and chips I could fit into the bag. Quickly, I ran out the door into the fresh, night air, before my mom had a chance to tell me to go comb my brown hair, straighten my glasses, clean my room or to 'stop eating so much!' If I had a penny for all the times I heard THAT phrase before...I was skinny though, and eating did not seem to affect me.

I walked out onto the lamp lit street in front of my house. The road was empty - everyone must have been asleep. So I decided to walk down the middle of the street.

I opened up the Ziplock bag I had brought with me and searched for my favourite chocolate chip cookies. My head was down as I continued the search.
WHAM!
"What the fu-?" I yelled as I fell to the ground and landed hard on my butt. My snacks had flown every which way out of the bag.
There was a blinding light which forced me to cover my eyes with my arm.
"Your lucky I wasn't a car young man!" It was a males voice. "You had better watch where you're walki-wait a second! Is that a Ziplock bag I see?" I felt the plastic bag get snatched out of my grasp.
"Please sir," I stammered. "Let me see you and please give me back my snacks!"

The light dimmed, and I could now see a tall, handsome, white haired man standing in front of me. He was wearing a white suit, white dress pants and a white pair of shoes as well. 'Wait a second,' I thought. 'I know this man!'
It was none other than the face and the man from -

"Glad is the number one brand of plastic storage devices, and lucky for you," he smiled, showing his blinding white teeth, "I have a free sample for you! Take this new bag -" He handed me a Glad plastic bag, "and take it home to your family. Spread the good news and tell them to use Glad! While you do that, I will dispose of this Ziplock piece of garbage!"
He held up my old bag in front of his face and furrowed his white eyebrows.
Pulling out a sharp, silver needle from his front suit pocket, he poked a hole in the Ziplock bag.
"See?" he said. "It even has a hole in it! You would do best to use Glad - the number one brand of plastic storage devices I might add - from now on!" He smiled down at me again, almost mockingly, as if he thought I was a two year old child. I just sat in awe - well, angry awe - from my spot on the street.

Finally, I found strength to stand up. Despite the distracting and bright glow that surrounded the man, I stared my opponent down.
"Our family does not like Glad," I said, holding back a sob. "My dog choked on one of your evil bags and died a few years back. Ever since, we have used Ziplock as our preferred brand for plastic storage devices."

The man from Glad was at a loss for words for a few moments, but regained his composure quickly.
"A few years back I was not the Glad representative my son," he chided. "Our product has become 100% more reliable, safe and affordable since I have taken over!" When he saw I had no interest in his lies, he spoke again.
"Anyways, it's past your bedtime isn't it son?" He placed his hands on my shoulders, turned me 180 degrees and patted my bum as he urged me on home.
"Take that Glad bag home now," he called as I started walking, "and remember to stay off the road! Or else you could get hit by a c-"
THUD.

On hearing the noise, I spun back around. A red Chrysler had driven by and in it's trail it had left a crumpled white suit and dress pants on the ground. There was no body in that suit and the man from Glad had seemingly disappeared! The clothes on the road no longer glowed and the street was dark once again, lit only by the streetlights, which periodically flickered on and off.

I came to the conclusion that he had been hit by the red Chrysler and turned back around towards home. I threw the Glad bag over my shoulder, onto the empty street behind me without a second thought.
"Don't preach something if you don't know it yourself," I muttered under my breath, as I continued walking home, wondering what-on-Earth had just happened.

A Little Stroke of Luck

You would never have guessed what happened to my little, brass boot. Received as a gift from my grandmother, it had the words 'ignore the ringing and use my luck' etched in its side. I did not understand what these words meant. To me, the boot (that was no more than a thumb's length in size) was useless! What was I going to do with a little, brass boot? However, I had noticed something in my photograph of when I went to Disney World. If you look closely behind my red and blue bathing suit, you can clearly see the brass boot, sitting on the wall I was leaning on. For all I know, the boot could have been yelling at me, but I would not have noticed because I was busy listening to my favourite song on my iPod at the time.

What is strange, however, is when you look at my other photographs of when I was in Nova Scotia and New York, New York, you can see the boot behind me in the majority of the photographs. I was being followed. The brass boot must have been aggressive to the ticket agent at the airport in order to find seats on my plane and follow me to my several destinations around North America. I even have pictures of myself swimming in the seemingly endless and beautifully blue Pacific Ocean on my trip to Hawaii, where, looking closely on the left corner of the picture, you can see a red fish. Okay, so the boot didn't follow me to Hawaii, but I bet he tried awfully hard to!

When I got home from all that travelling, I took off my shoes and walked inside. My mom had McDonalds ready for me when I got home. My stomach grumbled hungrily and in anticipation as I opened up the first bag. All that travelling had made me hungry! Instead of seeing a cheeseburger when I opened the bag, I saw the wrappers of several cheeseburgers littering the bottom of the bag. There was no more food! But then I saw something else. Nestled warmly amongst the wrappers was - you guessed it - the little, brass boot. If it had a face, right now it would definitely be smiling mockingly at me. Angrily, I picked up the boot and was about to throw it in the garbage, when the phone rang. Then I saw those words on the boot once more: 'Ignore the ringing and use my luck!'
Making a split-second decision, I ignored the ringing and put the boot in my pocket. It was one of the best decisions of my life. To this day I carry the boot around in my pocket and it has made me a very lucky person! At least I think so anyway. I also learned a valuable lesson from that boot - to not throw something away if at first it appears useless - and I swear to you, that is exactly how it all went down.

Five Books I Would Love to Eat!

If digesting large amounts of paper was possible, or if paper had a good taste and was worthwhile to ingest, I would definitely create a list of books that I would want to eat!

If I were to pick up a book and eat it right now, it would definitely be Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer. Why you may ask? The hype and the fans this book has created drives me crazy! Besides, it does not even have a great story line. Vampires would never fall in love - all they care about is to suck blood and to kill people! Though it is kind of hypocritical of me to eat this book - I like the Harry Potter series and I like the hype and popularity that surrounds them - I do not care one bit. Twilight needs to be eaten and Twilight fans need to calm down!

The second piece of literature on my list that I would love to devour, would be Inherit the Wind. I genuinely loved reading this book, loved the plot, learned a lot about both religion and evolution and I think this book would be one delicious meal! Now, if you did not know already, I am an atheist and a devoted one at that! So I would not only eat this book because I loved the plot and scenario, but because I could also digest and know all the smart quotes said by Henry Drummond (the defender of Bert Cates who wanted to teach his class the theory of evolution), and use them for myself when I saw myself in one of the many religious debates between me and my brother!

Another book I would definitely eat, would be Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Oh, it would be a very delicious book! Compared to some people, I may not be a Harry Potter fanatic, but I am still a huge fan of the Harry Potter series by J.K Rowling. To be honest, I would eat all seven of the Harry Potter books if I could! But if I had to choose one it would definitely be my favourite, the Order of the Phoenix, a book that I have read over and over for a countless number of times! Eating it would allow me to enjoy the book whenever I wished and would save me a lot of time (the Order of the Phoenix has over 500 pages!). For no other purpose than to enjoy the book whenever I wanted to, I would eat Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in a heartbeat!!

Fourth on my list of books to eat would definitely be 100 Years of Glory, one of many complete biographies of the Montreal Canadiens! I own several books about the Montreal Canadiens (the best hockey team in the world!), but my favourite one by far is 100 Years of Glory. It is a great book created to commemorate the team's 100th anniversary and relate the story of every event and every legendary player of the team's long (kind of like this sentence) and glorious history. First and foremost, I am a ginormous fan (and ginormous still does not do justice in describing how big of a fan I am) of the Montreal Canadiens, so it would logical for me to eat this book. Secondly, though my knowledge of the Canadiens is fairly extensive already, eating this book would allow me to know almost every single thing about the team! If someone came up to me and asked, 'how many goals did Jean Beliveau score in the 1958-59 season?', I would know the answer right away! Besides, any Montreal Canadiens book would taste awesome, right? Mmmmmm!!!

Lastly, the Canadian Law Book that can be found in room 218 at Orchard Park, would polish up an already delicious list of books I would love to eat! Eating this book would allow me to know all of Canadian laws so I could follow them, and so I could find loopholes in the law much more easy! Sure, call me a dilinquent or a rebel, but knowing all of Canadian laws inside and out could prove to be very beneficial! Whether in a tricky situation where knowing a law that the general public may not know, finding loopholes to sue companies (cha-ching!) or just to make sure I follow the law, eating the Canadian Law Book would be very beneficial! It would kind of be like vegetables I suppose...very beneficial, but it sure wouldn't taste very great!

25 Things I like to Write, or Write About

1. Short Stories
2. Newspaper articles
3. Fiction in general
4. Montreal Canadiens
5. Opinion pieces
6. Statistics
7. Reviews (e.g. on songs or books)
8. Fake advertisements
9. Facebook status updates
10. Blogs
11. Text messages
12. Good vacation spots
13. Cards
14. Theories
15. History
16. Global warming
17. Tennis
18. Letters
19. TV shows
20. Russia
21. Canada
22. Current World Issues
23. E-mail
24. Conspiracies
25. Complete and utter nonsense on the inter-web!

Welcome to the Kastle!

Greetings to the people of cyberspace - welcome to my blog! It's Krazy Kreshmir talkin'!
That's right - I spelled crazy with a 'k' and there is nothing you can do about it!

To quickly introduce myself, some of you who I am familiar with may know me as Kreshmir, but chances are most of you probably know me as Dan. Or Daniel. Or Daniel C....or Danny C....you get the picture!

To go over some facts about myself I am an average 17 year old teenager who is in grade 12 and currently attends Orchard Park Secondary School. I enjoy watching and playing hockey, listening to and playing music, learning and discussing about history, discussing current issues in the news and of course, writing! Surprisingly, I took a music, history, law, english and of course a writer's craft course (wooooo, go writers craft!!) this year! :P

I will also be attending grade 13 next year, or in other words, coming back to Orchard Park for a 'victory lap.'
No you funny people reading this, I am not returning to OP because I have failed a course, but rather for a variety of other reasons!
After my victory lap I definitely plan on going to university in the near future, possibly majoring in history or english.

I also just want to make sure that everyone knows I am a huge Montreal Canadiens fan! When you think of Krazy Kreshmir, you should think of the Canadiens! I never miss their games and the Canadiens mean a lot to me.
Go Habs Go!!

Anyways, as you can see by my blog I am not the strongest writer in the world but I look forward to making my writing much stronger, having a great writer's craft course, having a great second semester here at OP and having a great time writing more blogs.

Until next time,
Krazy Kreshmir, signing out.